Read. Write. Edit. Repeat

READ. WRITE. EDIT. REPEAT.

That's my mantra these days.  I've been editing the first six chapters of Wolf River and its been a slow process.  Hair pulling, screaming at the pages and lots of bleeding going on (from my pen of course).  It's a process that I was told would separate the writers from the authors.  Boy, is that the truth.  It is not easy to edit a story you have written.  To butcher it with the sharpest knife you have in your kitchen.  To chop pieces off that are not necessary and parts that made no sense what so ever.

Even though its been hard, I've been learning about my writing style and my voice.  I'm learning where my strength and weaknesses are.   It's been crippling yet liberating in the sense that I'm making progress and things are coming a long even with the crazy life I live.

What's next? I have to read it over again, keep adding and subtracting then send it back to Rosemi. After that, I'll be on the hunt for beta readers:) oh boy!

Where I Write

Wolf River has really been a test of time management and dedication.  When I tell you I have waved the white flag,  its true.  I have waved it high and proud.  "This is it.  What was I thinking? Was I even thinking? Must email Rosemi!"  

Then I slow down my breathing, check my pulse, count to ten, put my feet up against the wall and bitch.  I sprint to my computer and write a whining email to my editor.

So I get out and go to my favorite place to write Wolf River.  The one place that inspires me. Where I'm surrounded by like minded people, people who have done it before me and who know what I am feeling. Where people come in and out with a book.  Where people are reading or searching for the perfect one to get lost in.  

I go to the library.  

(not the library by my beautiful shelf) 

It's the best place!  My dream, when all this is said and done,  is that I get to read my book at my local library.  The people who work there are so nice and I know them all.  They greet me with a warm smile and talk to me like a friend.

Support your local library and go spend some time there.  It will  motivate you to keep writing.

Listening to: Ain't Nobdoy's Problem by The Lumineers

Craving Vitamin D

What is it with the green lush forest that I crave? The pure scent of the wild.  The untouched part of the earth where no cars, no buildings and if we are lucky no pollution. I guess its the undiscovered that pulls me in.  The ability to go explore and not feel confined to my house or the hustle of the busy life we live by.

As a stay at home mom,  there are several times a week when the four walls I live in start caving in on me.  The gloomy days of winter get under my skin and make me crave vitamin D like I crave chocolate.

Dont get me wrong, I believe that winter is necessary for nature and for us.  A time to slow down and hibernate. To get that old crock pot going, start a fire and curl up on the couch and read a good book. But I can't tell you how much I miss seeing green and the smiling sun shining on me.  The walks to drop off the kids at school seem happier with less crying because they are cold and more time spent at the park playing before homework.   Right now, I'm writing a chapter in Wolf River that the setting is in the winter time with lots of snow and cold days.  So I shouldn't be complaining because right now those wolves  have it much harder than I do.

But the outdoors for me is my therapy, its my medication and my sanity.  All the doors and windows are open.  The sweet sound of the front screen door opening and closing brings me joy.  Not the monster heater that turns on, kills my plants and forces me to put extra socks on even when the thermostat reads 70.

I'm sending the above picture to my printer this week and having them print it at least 11 x 14.  It's going to be a reminder of the time soon to come.  But don't get all excited because you will laugh when I tell you that I'm putting it in my bathroom because its the only place in my house that doesnt have a window and I need a constant reminder of the outdoors.  A green bathroom yes!

I have a fun announcement next week, just need to work out the details, and I will post it here:) So be on the look out.

Listening to: Slow It Down by The Lumineers

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Why Write A Book?

I ask myself the same question about a couple of times a day now. Why write a book? When self doubt comes creeping in and I question the purpose of it.  Will it change the world? Probably not. Will I become a NY Bestseller? Ummmm, I'm not that lucky.  Will I become rich? Absolutely not but a girl can dream.  

I'm not writing this book for fame or fortune.  I'm not writing this book to become a cool cat or gain 1k followers on my Instagram account.  I'm not writing this book to end world hunger though I wish I could.  I'm not writing this book because I'm an excellent writer because, I know for a fact, that I am still an amateur.

I'm writing this book because earlier this year I couldn't even pick up a pen.  My brain wanted to pick it up but it just couldn't.  I remember so clearly when I discovered I couldn't write.  "Leslie,  we need you to sign this document to give us permission to perform these tests."  I nodded my head afraid for anyone to listen to my gibberish and stutter.  I tried to raise my right arm but it was shaking uncontrollably.   The nurse noticed my frustration and immediately put the pen in my hand and laid it on the paper. I smiled at her.  "You're welcome." She replied to me.  But I couldn't get the pen to sign my name.  A tear rolled down my cheek.  The nurse was holding the paper down and trying not to stare at me.  I dropped the pen, I couldn't hold it anymore.  It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.  More tears came pouring out.  I remember thinking 'I can't write. Oh my god. I can't write.  This can't be happening!'  "Just do your best Leslie.  We just need to get you in for this CT scan immediately." "Bbbbuuuutttt.  IIIIII cannnntttt." I replied to her and my eyes spoke a million words to her.  Agony, pain and sadness were written all over them.  She put the pen back in my hand and I just made the smallest mark on the paper.   

When the test was done.  They wheeled me back to my room where my husband was waiting for me.  I couldn't even look at him in the eye.  "What's wrong Les?"  I looked out at the window and told him "IIII cannnttt wwwwrrrrrriiiiitte." He didn't ask me how I found out or said the usual response during those days of ' don't worry everything will be fine.'  He just hugged me and let me cry for a very long time.  There were no words he could say that would make what I felt go away.  When I finally stopped crying, he handed me a piece of paper.  "Les, start with the basics.  Do your ABCs."  I looked at him like he had lost his mind but he was right and that's exactly what I did.  I told him that when I learn to write again, I was going to write a book. 

See, I experienced a temporary loss of something that is so basic to so many of us, the ability to write.  With determination and practice, I was able to write again.  My speech took a lot longer and that might be another post for another day.  So there you have it,  I'm writing this book because at one point I could barely move my right arm, because I said I was going to do it and I am. 

There will always be mountains in our lives. Obstacles too hard to overcome but with faith, determination and willpower, no mountain will ever be too high.  Not for me anyway.  I was born a fighter and I will die a fighter. 

Wolf River

Photo by: Cai Priestley Photography

"Life isn't just black and white or even gray for that matter.  You can paint your life whatever color you want.  The color you choose to tell your story is up to you." -  The Great Bodolf 

I am happy to announce that my book, Wolf River, is coming a long very nicely.  The above quote is a small excerpt from the book!!!!! And Bodolf is one of the characters and he is amazing. I'm excited for you guys to get to know him and his family!

For those who are curious,  the book is inspired my kids, whom I call the wolf pack.  And yes you got it, its about a pack of wolves and their adventure in the forest.  I'll go into a little more depth in future posts about what the book is about.

I can't even begin to describe how happy I am and nervous. But who wouldn't be?  I'm lucky that I have an amazing editor, Rosemi Mederos, who has been phenomenal to work with and who has been cheering me on the last couple of months.  

This is really a dream come true and I'm ready for the journey.